Just gonna do another psych analysis on myself.

I'm pretty sick in the head I guess to be doing such things to myself. It is scary to actually do this to myself.

I think the real me feels insecure inside. To the extend that I try to hide my insecurity with laughs it offs, jokes etc. I try to act like I am fine with people words and actions but perhaps I am not fine with it. I do not know if I am actually fine or that I am just so used to hiding my feelings that I concluded that I am fine.

Dun think that people exactly like the me now. Maybe I joke around so much and am so insensitive to people's feelings that it hurt them. Perhaps I don't think so much especially when it comes to treating friends.

I am always saying that I am lazy and that I want to slim down, but instead keep getting fatter and fatter.

The real me wants to be like those nice bodied males too but lack the effort to do it.

People say that being happy is the most important, but I don't think that I am happy now too. Well, mainly due to my size.

I want to be loved, but the issue is that I find it hard to even love myself. I look at myself in the mirror and am disgusted by the guy looking back at me. How can I love under such situations.

I always blame myself being lazy and not putting in the effort to do things even though I know that it is wrong and that I should not be doing it.

I secretly hope that someday I will wake up, being another person and that I can no longer be miserable.

The stuff I say sometimes makes people think that I am knowledgeable, funny especially when I sound confident, but seriously, I think its a load of bullshit.

I am sorry to myself and to the people who actually loves me. I really cannot stand myself anymore.